Well, It's Official.............

I have a little under two years! That is before my nest becomes empty!


Last night it was a rare occasion where both of the kids and I were taking a nice little amicable ride to blockbuster. There was no fighting, no arguing just pleasant conversation. Well, I guess you could call it pleasant as pleasant as it could be while I was covering the sound of my heart shattering, my brain slamming on the brakes and my world falling down around me! Ok, well, maybe that's exaggerating a little......


Here's what really happened. We were definitely having a very pleasant conversation about turning 18. Taylor was reminding Bri that she would be turning 18 a few months before she graduated which meant that technically she would be an "adult" then but that he would be 17 when he graduated which would give him a few more months before he suddenly becomes an "adult"! It was a bittersweet conversation. We talked about well, if you're still living at home and mom and dad are footing the bills then you still have rules and responsibilities, etc. when all of a sudden my "baby" boy pipes in and informs me that he and a few friends already have it planned to get their own apartment as soon as they turn 18! That sound you hear, yeah, that's me slamming the brakes on my brain! No, stop, no way! Screech, boom, crack goes the heart!


18? What about college? What about the fact that the number "18" doesn't just all of a sudden turn you into a full fledged adult ready to conquer the world. Does it? Let me just clarify for those of you who may be questioning my sanity at this point, I would never and I mean NEVER hold my kids back. I want them to spread their wings wide and fly as high as they ever dreamed they could fly.... I just didn't see the take off approaching so quickly!


I remember just a few short months ago I was still their "security" so to speak, still their comforter, still the one they turned to for their every need and now well, on one hand it is marvelous to have a little extra time to myself but I have neglected myself for so long that I don't quite know yet how to be me and not mom to Bri and Taylor. I have loved that job description from day one and now all of a sudden my job "security" has been ripped right out from underneath me and I am left seeking a new "title"! I had a brief moment of insanity last night and actually uttered the words "I am going to adopt a baby"! Yep, I know, go right ahead and laugh, I did the same! What??!! No WAY and anyhow, no matter how many babies I tried to adopt there would not be ONE that could EVER replace my two beautiful babies who have now blossomed into beautiful adults!


So, today I really got serious about figuring out where I am to start. One way will be to spend a little alone time with me, myself and I getting to know what kind of person I am, have been and want to be. Find out what I like, rediscovering who I am. I am now looking for a whole new career which is frightening in and of itself but one that I will be able to conquer and achieve! I look forward and embrace this path where ever it may lead me!


Looking Forward,
Beth